three stories for monsters

i.
Never knew Mother or how I burst her stomach, her poor body unable to pass the rack of horns crowning my infant head. She might have been lovely and likely didn’t deserve it at all. She lived in the estuary plain between the rivers and so I too live in the estuary plain between the rivers. The children in the nearby town dare each other to crawl through the reeds for a chance to see me and my bent spine and the nettled branches that grow like quills along my back and through my cardigans. They peek through the windows of my shack and confuse my black deer eyes for pedestrian darkness, until it’s too late. I’ve never chased them as they run screaming. They sink in the mud to their knees and are certain that death is upon them, or worse. What is it they think I will do to them that is worse than kill them? There was that hunter what killed his son by accident some winters back. Plugged him full of buckshot in the fading November light. The boy gasping there on the new snow. His own father did that, and no one runs screaming from him at the post office, I imagine. 

ii.
Of course I don’t even look like that, the horns and the quills. There’s only one mirror in that house I inherited from Mother. There’s only that narrow face that stares back, looking shrunken in these too-large clothes. It’s bile on the back of my throat. I’m the monster.

iii.
I’m the monster. No one has to be afraid of me but it’s me, the monster, it’s me. All that black staring up out of me, you’d think I’d be blind for it. Holding up my pants to keep them from falling, my teeth clicking. Run a hand along my back and feel the spine pressing up through the skin, a knobbed line that might as well be quills. There’s no one who should fear me but me. And there’s nothing to fear from the things I do to myself, to me, the monster. What’s the worse that I could do? Even if it’s killing me, what could possibly be worse than that?

The ball of rot and sharpened bones and nights too light to sleep.

I’ve been teaching myself (read: bullshitting) graphic novel script format but could probably use a primer on proper form. Especially as I adapt a short story series of mine to maybe seek an artist for?

Anyway.

Life hack:  try decomposing into dust and loam as early as possible. Beat your peers in fertilizing the trees and grasses that too are doomed to die.

Life hack:  folding your hands together makes a convenient and portable curtain behind which you can cry unseen.

caseyngarner:

This shitty diner is home

by: Casey Garner

I’m used to seeing photos of the Grand Haven pier reblogged across Tumblr, but seeing the Rendezvous, the shitty 24-hour greasy spoon that’s been a depressingly reliable part of my creative upbringing, is a borderline surreal experience. I’ve drank gallons of burnt coffee from barely washed Formica cups and sketched plot outlines on the backs of several dozen paper placemats. The Vous is a terrible place and I love it very much.

(via papyrus-codice)

isaachelsen:

Blake Holland's film Rust and my accompanying score are now available online. 
Watch the film here and check out my score here.
Rust premiered at the Nashville Film Festival in April of 2014. The film and my score received awards at a separate, smaller festival in December of 2013.
The film is roughly nineteen minutes long and I wrote eighteen minutes of music for it, although only about eight or nine minutes made it into the film. I decided to release all of the music I wrote for the film as it wasn’t going to go toward any other project and I was very happy with all of it. 
So check out my score to hear the music from the film and about ten minutes of extra music not heard in the film.

Watch. Listen.

isaachelsen:

Blake Holland's film Rust and my accompanying score are now available online. 

Watch the film here and check out my score here.

Rust premiered at the Nashville Film Festival in April of 2014. The film and my score received awards at a separate, smaller festival in December of 2013.

The film is roughly nineteen minutes long and I wrote eighteen minutes of music for it, although only about eight or nine minutes made it into the film. I decided to release all of the music I wrote for the film as it wasn’t going to go toward any other project and I was very happy with all of it. 

So check out my score to hear the music from the film and about ten minutes of extra music not heard in the film.

Watch. Listen.

If nothing else, I’ve confirmed I’m still the shit human being I’ve always been.