Showing posts tagged ugh

Next Saturday I’ll be on the way to South Carolina for a week of somehow even fewer obligations than my meager existence already entails. So for this final few days I’ll be dressing up in bro tanks and swimsuits in preparation for a week of bro tanks and swimsuits.

GPOY: Got a New Cardigan and You People Only Seem to Respond to Selfies Now, So Choke On Some Model Shots Edition.

GPOY:  New Hair, Don’t Care (except I actually do care and crave an unending stream of positive reinforcement lest the cracked walls of my self-esteem cave in on themselves) Edition

GPOY:  New Hair, Don’t Care (except I actually do care and crave an unending stream of positive reinforcement lest the cracked walls of my self-esteem cave in on themselves) Edition

So this beard: keep, shape, or eradicate from the face of the…my face, I guess? I was going to say Earth, but you know.
Anyway, I have no idea what to do with it.

So this beard: keep, shape, or eradicate from the face of the…my face, I guess? I was going to say Earth, but you know.

Anyway, I have no idea what to do with it.

'Nice game face, son. Are you an Under Armor model?'

'Nah, I don't have the proper attire. Those guys are always wearing compression tops and stuff.'

'Well, merry Christmas, sport!'

'Hey, all right! Am I a model now?'

'Make the face again.'

[makes face]

'Ugh…Let us get back to you.'

'Nice game face, son. Are you an Under Armor model?'

'Nah, I don't have the proper attire. Those guys are always wearing compression tops and stuff.'

'Well, merry Christmas, sport!'

'Hey, all right! Am I a model now?'

'Make the face again.'

[makes face]

'Ugh…Let us get back to you.'

'Takin' selfies, huh?'
'No, go away.'
'Bullshit, you totally are. Take one with me.'
'No.'
'Come ooooon.
Fine. Get up here.’
'Look, we're Pietà.’
'Not quite, pup.'